Noddy in Streatham … or was he!?

You know how it is, you go years without seeing children’s television characters in the streets of South London and then there’s two of them show up in as many weeks.

The other day, I was walking down the High Street minding my own business, when all of a sudden, who should I see on the pavement but none other than Noddy. I kid you not. Toytown’s own Jenson Button lying face down just in front of a kebab shop. Have to admit, it’s a position that I’m not altogether unfamiliar with but it’s still shocking when you see it occuring in the middle of the day.

Now, at this stage I would love to point you to a picture but I can’t. I know, I know — what’s the use of walking around with a flipping camera phone if you don’t use it but I didn’t get a chance. He had disappeared!

No, I hadn’t been at the old grape juice nor had I inhaled the fumes of anything vaguely resembling oregano. Noddy had just vanished!

Picture the scene — I’m standing there, Noddy’s on the pavement, it’s broad daylight. I whip out my camera phone, happy in the knowledge that I’m about to reveal some shocking, hitherto unreported, “Children’s TV character in drunken kebab shop brawl” occurance to the world via the internet. I point the camera at Noddy — the image is too small (he was only a small Noddy) — what to do? Should I crouch down and take the image? No, can’t do that — nearby was a 133 from Tooting full of people just staring at me. I decide to wait — pretend to be texting someone. I look up — the bus is still there — damn those Tooting nosey-parkers. I turn around and walk a little way still pretending to be texting. At last the bus moves away. Hurray! I turn back and … HE’S GONE!

I was in a state of shock — had he got up and walked away? Had Big Ears come looking for him and helped him back to their batchelors’ pad? I just didn’t know.

It’s just possible that someone passed me in the few seconds I had my back turned and then picked up Noddy’s prone figure but what I want to know is what did they do with the him? I suspect poor Noddy’s little legs are at this moment sticking forlornly out of the bottom of a bin bag somewhere in Streatham.

It has to be asked — is this just coincidence or has a crazed toy serial killer been loosed upon the streets of London??

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