“Hello! My name is Joe and I’m calling you on behalf of Your Privacy Ltd., is now a convenient time for you to talk?”

“That’s Great!”

“I’m calling you today because I’m in a position to offer you a unique service whereby you’ll never have to hear from me or my kind again. I’m sure you’ll agree that would be a good thing wouldn’t it?”

“That’s Great!”

“All you have to do is have some details ready and we can start the ball rolling right now with very little inconvenience to you — Do you know what your telephone number is?”

“That’s Great!”

“Just let the TPS have it and you’ll be living in a ‘Cold Call’ free environment in no time at all. What’s TPS? — I’m glad you asked …”

The Telephone Preference Service (TPS) helps you to make sure your telephone number is no longer available to organisations who may telephone you with offers and information you do not wish to receive.

Under Government legislation introduced on 1 May 1999 It is unlawful to make unsolicited direct marketing calls to individuals who have indicated that they do not want to receive such calls.

You can either do this by contacting companies directly and asking them not to phone you or you can register with a central service (The Telephone Preference Service) to stop all such calls.

The term individual includes consumers at their residential address, sole traders and, except in Scotland, partnerships.

It is free to register with the service.

“… So can I assume you wish to register with the TPS today and do me out of a job?”

“That’s Great!”