‘Oh! what a lovely [imminent] war’

The stockmarkets were rampant yesterday. I myself may have to spend a pound or two on bolstering my impoverished pension plan with a few sharply timed purchases. Let’s see; defence stocks, (of course!), insurance companies, medical supply companies, [re]construction companies and not least of all, oil stocks.

Now that’s a portfolio that will yield a tidy profit for all those who have the backbone not to be dissuaded from the financial opportunity merely by the site of the blood of just a few tens of thousands of arabs. Not our fault if they don’t have the sense to get out of the way of depleted uranium bullets or have the misfortune to find themselves in the vicinity of all those saintly bombs we’re going to lob at them.

I’ve had a thought, given the lessons learnt from that unfortunate incident involving young Rachel Corrie, (who wrote a lot of emails), I think I may suggest a new strategy to the Allied forces. Lets do away with all those clever munitions with their million dollar a piece price tags and instead, equip our gallant warriors with just a handful of Israeli bulldozers.

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