Posted on Sep 30, 2003
I passed Birmingham’s Peace Garden and stopped to get this picture. It’s obviously not of the garden, it’s actually a memorial dedicated to Brum’s war dead; behind it is the garden.
[WARNING: TENUOUS RAMBLING AHEAD]…
The thing about peace is that it’s a state of affairs in which there are no enemies – so this must be a good thing right? Of course, when the enemies are lobbing bombs or firing guns at you (which were probably supplied to them by your own government) then it’s no laughing matter; so I’m not going to go on about that kind of enemy. But I do want to share with you my thoughts about personal enemies … (ain’t you the lucky ones)
I was just contributing my tuppence worth to a post by jealoustwin when I realised that I dont have any enemies. If it’s true that “a man is judged by the enemies he keeps” then how will I be judged. Batman has the Penguin and the Joker, Spiderman has the Green Goblin and Dr. Octopus, even Dubya has Osama and Saddam. But what implaccable foe defines me???
The answer is I have none – I am enemyless, I am bereft of a baddie, I am foe-lically challenged. Surely if I had an enemy I would be judged that much more interesting … (I know, I know – how much more interesting can a guy get but there’s always room for improvement)
So how does one acquire an enemy? judging from the above list, I suppose you have to stop somebody from getting something that they want. Like I said, I’m just talking about personal enemies so stopping of meglomaniacs I’ll leave to the big boys, (and the voting public). So what can a potential enemy of my personal acquaintance want that I can stop them from getting? … urm … hmmm … errr … this is going to be tricky!
I suppose the Postman wants to deliver the post – I could always block-up the letterbox and thwart his dastardly bill delivering … could get a bit cold when they turn off the electricity. Well, there’s the neighbour downstairs who bangs on the floor when I turn the washing machine on in the middle of the night … he’s 6’3, he knows where I live and he has a point.
In that case it’ll have to be the little old lady in the cake shop who’s always smiling at me when she hands over the egg custards. I mean what is her problem? Why can’t she be as miserable as the dementors in every other shop I walk into. And she can’t fool me into thinking it’s a plastic “have a nice day” type smile as doled out by the (McDonalds/KFC/Burger King/Wimpys – delete as required) burger-flippers. Ohhh Nooo – her’s is one of those genuine smiles that forces a genuine smile back in return … the cynical old biddy.
Yes, from this day forth granny home bake, your days of peaceful smiling are over, I am your nemesis.
Posted on Sep 29, 2003
Some months ago I mentioned a friend of mine who was attempting to get married via a Muslim Matrimonial service on the Web. At the time he was in the delicate early stages of ‘getting to know you’ with a prospective bride and things seemed to be going well enough. Well it fell through.
I felt bad for my friend and thought that he’ll just go back home and try more traditional methods or give up. I hadn’t counted on the tenacity of a Muslim man on a matrimonial mission! To mis-quote from the song, “He got knocked down, he got up again, never gonna keep him down”
His kismet, (I guess!), was to meet an even more compatible prospective bride from the site and start the whole process anew. But this time he went into it with a bit more caution … well the approach must have worked, he’s getting married next month!!!
In the end, it wasn’t about the Web really, granted they met through it but they spent months meeting and getting to know each other and each other’s families before the green light was given by both sides. Ultimately, of course it was about the two individuals involved and how they felt about each other, as my friend put it, “She laughs at my crappy jokes”.
And they really are bad, so it must be love!
Posted on Sep 26, 2003
Edward W. Said, an important Columbia University scholar and an eloquent advocate of the Palestinian cause, died yesterday.
His friend, Ahdaf Soueif, mourns his loss in the Guardian as does Ilan Pappe, an Israeli academic who writes in the Electronic Intifada. Typically, the Torygraph cant help but publish a poisonous rant by way of an obituary.
Much, much, better to read is the NYTimes Obituary. This requires a subscription but that’s free and well worth it, the article is a full and balanced summation of Said’s life and impact not only on Arab-Israeli relations but also on “the cultural theory of post-colonialism”.
But you can judge the man for yourselves through his own writings, maintained at the The Edward Said Archive.
Posted on Sep 25, 2003
ARGHHHHHH!
Shit! having just banged on about London’s tube system, imagine my disgust when I read that … they’re talking about building one … in Brum!!
I’ll have to move again … hmmm, surely there are no plans for a tube system in Bangladesh?
[UPDATE: ARRRRRGGGHHHHH!! ... how wrong was I ... talk about your asian underground!]
Posted on Sep 23, 2003
I’m supposed to be getting on with sorting out this community website but decided to take a few moments off and do this.
I hadn’t intended to do a Snapshots of London, (it not really being a holiday destination of mine), but I found these cheesy postcard type photos amongst my holiday snaps and just had to scan ‘em and blog ‘em. I lived in London for over 15 years. Most of my adult life really and had a great time … I just wish I could remember it all!
What I do remember is that I went down there to study (Hah!) and after bungling through 4 misspent years barely emerged with a qualification that suggested that I knew something about computers (Bah! and Hah!). I came back up to Brum and watched cricket for a few months then legged it back down and got a job in the big bad city. Best decision I ever made. (Brum was really shit in those days!)
Cant say that my parent’s were too happy about it but flying the nest is one of life’s little tests both for parents and their children and although it’s not an asian norm I guess I thought it should be. Besides I was spellbound by the bright lights and the jellied eels … (Eugh! just joking about the jellied eels). Also by the anonymity of living in a city of over 7 million souls.
Some say that Birmingham is a multi-cultural city – it isn’t really. It’s a tri-cultural city – English, Caribbean and Asian but for true multi-culture, London can’t be beaten. Okay, Okay, Brum’s population base is diversifiying, a new influx from all over the world is occuring right now and it can only be a good thing though not without some initial friction at the edges I expect.
Strange thing is that I didn’t really do a lot of sight-seeing while I was down there. Living, as I did, in Lewisham meant that the links to Central London were such that it just wasn’t worth going up into town. Besides there were plenty of distractions in South East London to occupy a young man’s attentions. Afterall, it was the naughty nineties, the place was buzzing, full of promise and endless possibilities.
Without thinking about it I was living the American Dream. Heck! it was cool even to go to TGI Friday’s in those days. Without getting the point of it we’d belt out the lyrics of Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Born in the USA’ whilst chowing down on a Cajun Catfish Burger and Fries! We were devouring life, love and liberty without a care and all in the pursuit of happiness. Gordon Gecko wasn’t merely a film character personifying the evils of souless capitalism but was an aspirational icon who thousands were emulating. I wore suits for chrisakes! I don’t even know why! I didn’t need to for my job but just before the rave scene migrated down from Manchester suits were the club wear of choice. Perhaps that’s where I wore them … I just wish I could remember going to the clubs!
But for various reasons it all had to end, besides I was getting tired of travelling through the bowels of the earth everyday and paying through the nose for the privilege. Even now, when I pop down to ‘the smoke’, I’m astonished at the price of getting about – it’s cheaper to get from Birmingham to London than it is to actually travel about the nation’s capital over a weekend. (Typical! – barking on about money again!) 
Still, it was and always will be an amazing place but never ask a Londoner about it – they just don’t know anything about London other than stuff to do with their tiny little bits of it. North Londoners wont travel ‘sarf of the river’ and South Londoners consider the North to be ‘foreign’. Well actually I didn’t get to know many real South Londoners … though, I just wish I could remember some of them!
Actually, I think that’s why I keep this weblog. (Apart from it being a cheap form of therapy!) It augments my depleted synapses. One of my regrets is that I deliberately didn’t have a camera for most of my years in London, citing as reason some tired existentialist bullshit about living in the moment but happily, before I started swanning off to other parts of the world, I changed my mind. Which brings up a point I’ve often pondered – how many photos does the average person have taken of them these days. I mean, in the past it was such an expensive activity that you’d get one or two portrait pictures done and that was your lot. Then, with the advent of the Kodak Instamatic and it’s like and successors and with cheap processing people must have had hundreds or even thousands of pictures taken, both by themselves and others. So, even though I didn’t take any pictures myself there must be hundreds of photos out there somewhere documenting my life in the metropolis… (and I’m prepared to pay handsomely for the negatives!)
Towards the end of my London life I had a job at London Uni. and was located right slap bang in the middle of it all. That’s when I really got to see the cheesy postcard London full of Black cabs, Red buses, tourists, restaurants, theatres, museums and cinemas. That’s probably the one thing that I miss most about London though – the obscure little cinemas showing films that never get a general release. Apart from that, Brum offers at least some of the other things and now, apparently, better shopping. (I still aint been to the new Bull Ring but will do so soon and feel duty bound to report back to you … no, I insist … seriously, it wont be any trouble at all).
The last time I was down in London, I was driving about town during the rush hour, on the South Circular and it struck me how different the drivers are in London and Brum. I was talking to the set designer on ‘Room to think’ about it, (a Londoner), and she was saying how she couldn’t get over how polite the drivers in Brum are in comparison!
I can’t say I’d given it much thought while I was living there but then again I did learn to drive in London in 19 … ?!? … urm … err … dammit! I just wish I could remember something!
Yikes!
A few moments indeed!
Oh well, back to the salt mines.
